Still here...

*Blowing dust off my keyboard and off the virtual wall of my blog* [cough, cough]

Last night my friend Kessia Reyne Benett made a post on her Facebook page: 

"Seems like so many people are insisting that heaven isn't coming on May 21st but we haven't stopped to ask why we're so glad that it's not."

In true Kessia manner, she spurred a series of thoughts on her wall and in my mind.  Harold Camping has predicted the end of the world for May 21st 2011, at 6p.m.  At the time of this post (it is 16:29 MST) the world seems the same, other than a volcanic eruption in Iceland that has triggered 50 small earthquakes (3.7) the largest, according to msnbc.com; yup! world is still the same. 

There is still war in Afghanistan, Libya is still being bombarded, the US has reached its debt ceiling, gas prices are still high, weather is still crummy in Wyoming, and there are two Mormon Missionaries still walking around my apartment complex.  The world is still here, as we know it.  But back to Kessia's post...

It makes me think about the name we bear, our denomination is called seventh-day ADVENTISTS. So, all jokes aside, I wonder how they’ll feel. Those that had faith in the message of Camping? How do they feel right now? Will they wait 'till midnight? (the bridegroom delays...) Adventists.  That is our name. The End has been the proclamation of our pioneers and of preacher after preacher.  Adventists. It was this type of hype that got us started. Someone calculated a date, preached it out; one hundred and sixty seven years later here we are.  Adventist is our name due to our belief that the return of Christ is imminent, or immediate, or soon, or at some point, sometime in the future, I wonder if he will come at all? ... get it? 

Why am I happy it’s not today? I don’t know, I really didn't even think about it.  Now I am.  But it seems to me that I am happy it’s not today because deep in my heart I know this preacher just ain't ready for Jesus to come.  I still have not surrendered areas of my life to His extirpating powers.  That is the honest truth, or at least part of the complexity that makes me answer that way. 

I am also happy because I don’t think the Church is ready.  We are still divided into parties and fighting over music, earrings, rings, meat, and other "important" stuff.  I don’t think the world is ready, or has heard; not the miscalculated ramblings of the Radio Preacher, but the beauty of God's Character, and his plan to rescue what was ransomed.  I don’t think many of my loved ones are ready.  Some I can see being ready.  This begs the question what does it look like to be ready? How do I know I am ready? ... In my heart? You just "know" like "when you are in love"? Is that how it works? Or is it the mental assertion that I am not sinning? I've asked for forgiveness of all the sins I have committed, so I can go now?  Honestly I have no answer to those questions... But I really wonder. 

I always hear a lot of my brethren speak these passionate statements of "Come! Lord Jesus!" and they are heartfelt... most of them, I think.  But when I inquire deeper about their thoughts, I always am faced with answers that I am not to sure about... motivations of the world to end that I find interesting, even compelling but... not satisfying.  

"I'm tired of this life" "too much suffering" "there is too much pain in the world" "life is rough" “World’s a mess” ... yes, it’s all true. However I cannot complain about my life.  Not that I am all of a sudden indifferent with the sufferings of others; even here in my own Rock Springs. But I honestly, in spite of the tragedies I see on the news, in spite of the drama that sometimes comes to my life, and the pain that arises from time to time... I cannot complain; God has been and is good to me, so why out?  Life here in the desert is good, good tent, manna every morning, why, I can see Canaan from my backyard. So the argument of "Let's get off this Rock" in its core seems to be an indication of "I'm tired of playing this game, I want out, cause I'm losing".  Its valid, and at times I have uttered it, but for me not a solid reason to  "be sad the end is not today".  As much as I might suffer, it seems to be mutually selfish that I want out because I am not having fun; whereas you don't want out because you are having fun. Dilemma. So then, what gives? I find the argument of "this life is not good" falling short of an appeal to get me sad that I am not here writing waiting in raptured expectation. 

But the pitfall of my thoughts seems to be "Happy Tent Living." Its good to be happy, no matter our circumstances (easier said than done), however, have I gotten too happy and comfortable in this Bedouin lifestyle that I have forgotten that my home is not the tent, but the Paradise ad portas? Could it be that the blessings bestowed have stalemated my desire to look for that country that lies ahead? This would put God in a pickle; He blesses me, I don’t want to go; He sends pain my way, I want out... but not necessarily to see Him. 

The more I think about it, the more it seems to be a balancing act; as much of the Christian walk is, a balancing act between the peace I am to have while on this earth and the desire to cross into the Promised Land.

Its not today and I know that God has more for me to do here; more of my time for his Kingdom, more of my talents for his Kingdom, more of myself for Him.  If you are ready, really ready and you know you are ready, Praise the Lord! (no sarcasm here, for those of you who know me personally).  However I would invite you to really think about your motivations to "go home".  

Is it because you just don’t want to hear and see suffering anymore? Or is it because you can't wait to hear and see Him.  You can’t wait to gaze into his eyes, to actually touch the scars, to hear his voice... live, and not imagine it or ponder how it sounds.  Cant wait to sing with Him, to walk with Him, to have a personal one on one time with Him, face to face, like Moses did... even if the appointment waiting list is a million years long. Is it to see Jesus? Is it to see the one who died for you and me?

Another FB post some time ago caught my attention: "Is Jesus the centerpiece of your picture of heaven or is He just the means to get you there? Like the friend who meets you in the parking lot to get you into Disneyland."  


So yeah, here we are, still here... but I believe that not for too long.